We are all people pleaser.
We are not aware of this most of the time because we just want to be liked, to be remembered, to be important. We are blinded by the idea that the more people like us, the better, and this is the reason we go out of our way to please them, even when it means sacrificing our happiness.
If you were like me, you would stop doing it. Why? In reality, we don’t need a reason but here are mine:
It makes me unhappy
At first, it was the easiest thing I had to do. I only had to follow what everyone says I should do, make sure I acted according to what society decides I should, and have always kept my silence. But overtime, it came to me that I was miserable and unhappy. I could not blame anyone because I knew it was my doing. I felt like I was a shell and everyone, with my permission, was only keeping me because I was needed. I felt empty, and it was horrible. I decided that enough was enough and started taking care of myself. To this day, it is still one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I became pretentious
It was difficult to admit then, but now I can say, without hesitation, that while I wanted to make other people happy and I did go out of my way to make it happen, later on, I was only pretending to like what I was doing. However, since I wanted to please others, I bit my tongue and did it, but I was not myself anymore, and during that time, I felt I was caged and I was hiding the key from myself. What a tragedy it was.
It was depressing
Obviously, I was not getting anything positive out of pleasing people, so I started to feel depressed with just about anything. I could have enjoyed life, but I didn’t because I was too busy worrying and thinking about what other people say. This is a no-no in my vocabulary now.
I questioned my worth
It came to a point where I no longer saw myself as me, or that I was worthy of anything, because all I was doing was for others and most of the deed was ignored and taken for granted. It’s a good thing I realized I did not need any affirmation from anyone or that I had to please people to have good people in my life.
I forgot to live
Perhaps this was the saddest of all. Life only happens once, but I almost wasted mine from wanting to be like and loved. Little did I know that such would not last and I would be the one to suffer. The day I realized I was wasting my time was the day I started living my life, and I don’t plan on stopping while I have the strength to carry on. As it was, I wasted enough time already, and I cannot afford to waste even just a tiny fraction of it.
One of the best decisions we could ever make is to be true to our nature and allow the people who want to stay to remain and let the ones who want to leave go.
Pleasing people is never the answer to anything; this is why I stopped and had not looked back since. I say selfish because it is time I give myself what’s due to me, regardless of what people say.