Love and life can teach us many things.
Interesting things happen to us every single day. We stumble in different ways; we learn lessons from varying experiences and failures, the price of success included.
However, the biggest lessons I have learned so far in this lifetime came from being broken hearted. It is a different kind of ball game and when one doesn’t know how to play it (which we all don’t, really), it is the very thing that could turn a life upside down, and while we admit that it is not easy, we come back stronger than ever before.
From a personal point of view, it is like coming back from the dead; only you return a better version of who you were. Although it was possibly one of the darkest moments of my life, being broken-hearted, it was also the most life-changing and the best eye-opener. Life has not been easy for me that is why I do not admit this lightly.
On the upside, what I have become is something I will not trade for anything, even when it means I have had to go through something difficult first.
Here are the lessons I have learned from a broken heart:
I deserve better
Often, we blame ourselves for the breakup thinking we could have done something differently and perhaps if we did, things could have turned out differently as well. No, stop thinking like that. I thought the same way too, and then I realized that I have done what I could and I could not have done more. Each relationship is a two-way street. If the person I love does not see me or love me for what and who I am, then I deserve better. That’s the sad thing, isn’t it? We know we deserve better and yet we settle. From a heartbreak, my eyes opened wide, and then I saw that I deserve better and will not take anything less than that in the future, so I haven’t and will not.
I am worthy
My worth will not diminish just because someone thinks I am not worthy, or because I don’t see my value. A heartbreak drilled in my brain that however people look at me, be it a former significant other or someone else, I am worthy. I don’t need an affirmation from anyone, and my existence alone proves all the worth that I am. So, yes, I will not care about what others think because I know my worth and deep inside, you know you are worthy, too. The one who got away? That is you. Never forget that.
There’s nothing wrong with me
I am not saying I am perfect, but when the breakup happened, the first thought I had was that everything was wrong with me. How ridiculous a thought it was! Looking back, I am great the way I am, and if I am not being appreciated for being true to who I am, then it is not my problem anymore. There is nothing wrong with being myself and that just because a relationship was broken does not mean I was the wrong person on it.
I have strength and courage
The saying we often read about that says we are stronger than we think we are is absolutely true. I have discovered how strong I was during a heartbreak. It is not so much as being dependent on anyone but rather being able to be with myself after so long of being with another. I rekindled the thirst for travel, enjoying things my way and daring myself to go farther than I had ever dared before and succeeded, too. Strength and courage are two innate qualities we all possess. Sadly, both are often forgotten when we enter into a relationship and only when that relationship does not work do we realize who we are in the first place.
Overall, heartbreak may not be pleasant and being heartbroken did turn my life upside down but it is the same reason I was able to get back up stronger, wiser and life more aligned. It is not so bad to experience, after all, if the outcome is remembering who I was.
As we celebrate the day of the hearts, may we always remember to love ourself first and be patient and wait for the kind of love we deserve.