If people pleasing is a sin…
We are all guilty of it. It seems that people pleasing habit is built within us, deep in the core, because everyone is doing it or has done it at some point. Then we realize it is not doing anybody any good.
Sometimes, however, people think we are jerks just because we no longer do the things we used to do for them. This is a normal reaction, and while we should not pay attention to what they think and say, we also do not want to alienate the people we work with as well as our family and friends just because we realize we don’t live to please them.
Here are proven nice ways to stop pleasing people:
This is a good way to begin. When someone asks for a favor, do not respond right away. If you want to send a response quickly, you can say you will see what you can do. As you can see, you are not refusing outright, and the other person will appreciate that you are considering it. In the end, there will be no hurt feelings because, at the very least, you tried.
Learn the art of compromise
Sometimes, what people are asking is the impossible, and while you don’t want to say no, you don’t want to disappoint either. Not because you want to please but because there are times when you do want to help. If you cannot do what is being asked, offer an alternative; something you can do without stretching yourself thin. It is the effort that counts.
There will never be a gentle way of saying no, but if you think you have to, then you have to. Say no. You do this not because you don’t care for the other person but because you do and you care about yourself, too. Besides, if you keep saying yes and you want to do the opposite, you will only strain your relationship with others because soon, you will feel resentment and it is the last thing you want to happen.
Try these, and you will feel a whole lot better and liberated. If it fails, it is OK. You always have a choice, and you can say no. In any case, you have always known that you cannot please everybody, which makes it easier to say no if you have to.